Resize icon Dear Moneyist, My home is finally selling after a divorce some years ago. I will clear just enough profit to potentially make a down payment to purchase another house — some small fixer upper to secure my future housing needs.
I have a smaller, but consistent work income. My current significant other of two years, a genuinely sweet and kind person, owns his own home. We have discussed our future, and he wants me to move into his house now that my home has sold.
He understandably wants to retain solo ownership of his home after we marry, to ensure that, if anything were to happen to him, his house would go to his children to be sold and money disbursed to them equally.
He also feels it would be fair if I should pay half of the mortgage as rent after moving in.
My Girlfriend Doesn't Want To Talk About Money
I can see his side: Living together is nice when it also lowers monthly expenses, but the scenario he suggests makes me feel anxious. He does not want to sell his home and buy one together, because he loves his home and it is more than halfway paid off.
Is It Terrible to Want My Boyfriend to Make More Money?
He is very much looking forward to us living together in one home. We spend most of our time together and love and enjoy each other immensely. Unfortunately, my options look like either buying and moving into my own home — losing an otherwise brilliant and loving relationship — or marrying and moving in with him, paying rent forever and always living in his home, not ours or mine, and having no part of my contribution available for my children. Is it my imagination — or does this later scenario leave me with no power?
And yes, I suppose Does not want to live together wants to make money do rather feel that in his version, he gets everything his way. What is a fair and equal way for middle-aged second timers to navigate housing and a secure future?
I have suggested that in the alternative, I could put the amount of money equaling half his monthly mortgage into a savings account for our future mutual retirement use or potential house purchase if necessarybut I believe he would appreciate some relief on the current mortgage payment now.
You have given your boyfriend several reasonable alternatives, including setting up a bank account where you both invest in your relationship as a couple. Move in and pay your share of the remaining mortgage and buy your own home.
My Boyfriend Doesn’t Contribute Equally Financially. I’m Resenting Him
Thank you for writing before the event. I cheered you on as I read your letter. You could also contribute to the mortgage and expenses and receive a lifetime tenancy. After you die, the house then goes to his children.
- January 29, Copyright c Wattanachon Kongthon As if making the decision to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend weren't nerve-wracking enough, once you've opted to merge your two homes, you still face some challenges: Where will you live?
- How to withdraw funds online
- This is not about who earns more.
- 10 financial warning signs to watch out for when in a relationship - The Economic Times
Or you could agree on some combination of the above. Also see: Married men earn more than everyone else including single men If you decide to buy your own home, you will be part of a growing trend. The irony, which may not be lost on you: If your prospective husband was ready to take a leap of faith and commit financially to a life together, you could both cut your expenses by buying a home together.
His upbringing motivated him to become successful. He decided to purchase his home inasking my daughter and I to house hunt and move in with him. We lived together once more this time as exes until recently. I wanted to share my story.
If You Love Your Spouse, You’d Make Him Or Her Financially Independent
If I had known then what I know now, I would have never moved in with him until he proposed and we purchased the home in both our names. You live and you learn. He wants to protect his assets.
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- Comment Synopsis We list some financial red flags that can hint at bigger problems you may not be able to rectify in the future.
- If You Love Your Spouse, You'd Make Him Or Her Financially Independent
You should absolutely make sure you protect your assets too. You write that you would be losing an otherwise brilliant and loving relationship.
But I suggest you think of it another way.
You have given him several concrete actions you can both take as a compromise. It is he who would storing money in bitcoins throwing away a brilliant and loving relationship due to his own intractability.
At worst, if he is unwilling to meet you halfway and unable to see that your financial future is as important as his, he is not as brilliant and loving as you believe him to be. If he wants a tenant, he can find one in the local paper. Also see: Is this the worst tipper in America?
Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. Now imagine marrying someone, giving up your job to raise a family, and being entirely dependent on your working spouse for all your spending needs. A common situation, but is it ideal?
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10 financial warning signs to watch out for when in a relationship
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Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas: inheritance, wills, divorce, tipping, gifting. I often talk to lawyers, accountants, financial advisers and other experts, in addition to offering my own thoughts. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns. More from MarketWatch.